3 Place You Would Never Visit (Sorry Not Sorry, Travel Gods)
—because some destinations are best admired from a very, VERY safe Google search.
🧳 “Atithi Devo Bhava?” Not Here, Bro.
In India, we have a golden phrase: “Atithi Devo Bhava” — Guest is God.
But guess what?
Some places clearly skipped this class.
Or they were busy hissing, erupting, or throwing spears at visitors.
So here are the 3 places where I’d rather not take my passport, soul, or sanity:
1. Snake Island, Brazil – Where the Residents Slither, Not Smile
Let’s be clear:
The snakes in Brazil have NOT heard of “Guest is God.”
In fact, I’m pretty sure they believe in “Guest is Lunch.”
This place is literally called Ilha da Queimada Grande aka Snake Island.
It’s home to thousands of venomous snakes living in harmony, probably paying taxes and grooving to hiss-hop music in the jungle.
Each square meter = 5 snakes.
Yes. You read that right.
Even your nightmares aren’t that dense.
“Atithi Devo Bhava”?
No no… “Jeevan Mrityu Naahi aani Mrityu Jeevan Naahi.”
Here, life is death, and death is confused.
Also—have I mentioned I hate snakes?
Anaconda (the movie) ruined my trust in nature forever.
Now even earthworms give me psychological CPR.
So dear Brazil, I love your football and your festivals…
But Snake Island? Delete. Block. Report.
2. Danakil Desert, Ethiopia – The Gateway to Hell (No, Literally)
If Snake Island is a horror movie, Danakil is an oven sent straight from the devil’s kitchen.
Known as the hottest place on Earth, it comes with:
- Bubbling lava lakes
- Active volcanoes
- Sulphur springs
- And the audacity to still have the word “tourism” in its description.
People call it the Gateway to Hell.
Me? I call it:
“The place my AC dreads even thinking about.”
Look, I’m a summer-hater by DNA.
When the temperature crosses 30°C, my mood auto-melts.
Danakil runs at 50°C on a casual Tuesday.
Big. Fat. No.
Let’s just say, if I ever wanted to meet lava, I’d go make my own bad decisions…
Not fly across continents to be slow-cooked.
3. North Sentinel Island, India – “No Visitors, No Vibes”
And now, a plot twist.
This one’s right here in my backyard — India.
North Sentinel Island is home to the Sentinelese tribe, who are basically the last real-life “Don’t come near me” community.
They’ve been hostile to outsiders for centuries, and honestly?
I respect it…
But I’m still not going.
You could approach them with sweets, peace signs, or a Rakhi—
They’ll still welcome you with spears and silence.
“Atithi Devo Bhava?”
These folks said, “Nope. Not on our land. Not on our watch.”
So to the lovely people of North Sentinel Island,
I send this gentle message from the safety of the internet:
“Mere ghar kabhi mat aana. And I promise, main bhi nahi aaunga.”
Deal?
4. Haunted Mansion – Because Why Should Ghosts Have All the Fun?
Now I know some people love haunted mansions.
They pay money to scream.
They voluntarily walk into creaky halls, whisper “Is someone there?” and then cry when something says “YES.”
Me? I’m not paying to get trauma I already got for free during my school viva.
Yes, I love ghosts.
Because I was a ghost in my past life.
But I’ve moved on.
Now I just haunt unread WhatsApp messages.
Haunted mansion?
A firm no.
Let the ghosts live their best afterlife. I’ll stay out.
And if you’re reading this thinking “it won’t be that scary,” congrats—you’re the first to die in the movie.
5. Outer Space – No Coffee? No Entry.
Let’s talk about space.
Outer space.
The “wow, so vast and mysterious” zone that every sci-fi movie romanticizes.
But let me ask the REAL questions:
- Is there gravity? Sometimes.
- Is there breathable air? Eh.
- Is there coffee? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
And that, my friend, is the dealbreaker.
You can send billionaires in rockets,
Build floating cities,
Discover alien emojis…
But if there’s no coffee station on Mars, I’m not going.
Outer space is not a place.
It’s a punishment for chai lovers and sleep-deprived introverts.
So unless NASA starts serving cappuccino mid-orbit—
Space is officially the place you would never visit.
“The Place You Would Never Visit Club”
…where sanity wins over sightseeing.
There’s always a thrill-seeker screaming, “Let’s go!”
While I check if my AC’s set to low.
You want adrenaline, I want idli legit—
That’s the place you would never visit.Snake Island, Brazil? Absolute no.
Where fangs are friends and humans don’t go.
It’s hissing with sass, no exit permit—
Definitely a place you would never visit.Danakil Desert? Lava buffet.
Where sunscreen surrenders by mid-day.
They say “Gateway to Hell,” I say “Quit.”
Another classic place you would never visit.North Sentinel, wild and raw,
They throw spears instead of “Namaste” or “Hiya.”
No Zomato, no WiFi, no Uber, no kit—
Certified savage place you would never visit.Mount Doom? The name’s enough.
I don’t hike, I overthink. That’s tough.
Why climb when I can just Netflix it?
Fantasy’s full of places you would never visit.Haunted mansions in abandoned towns?
Where ghosts don’t nap and dolls wear frowns?
Nope. Not even with holy kit.
Straight to the list of places you would never visit.Underwater caves? Scuba bro’s dream.
But I panic when I drop my ice-cream.
Why risk my life for a salty hit?
A splashy, claustro place you would never visit.Jungle survival shows? Bless those fools.
I survive office meetings, that breaks enough rules.
Why fight leeches when I can just sit?
Yet another peaceful place you would never visit.Outer Space? I barely like heights.
Let Elon go on his rocket flights.
Till chai flows on Mars with biscuit—
It’s still a place you would never visit.So here I stay with my AC strong,
Writing this poem, vibing all along.
Adventure’s fun… but comfort’s lit—
And that, my friend, is the real place you would never visit.
🎯 Final Thought?
People say travel opens the mind.
But I say: Some places open up a world of unnecessary trauma, fangs, and heatstroke.
So while everyone’s busy booking Bali and ticking off thrill-seeker checklists,
I’ll be here, sipping chai, watching Nat Geo, and surviving.
Because not all who wander are lost—
Some of us just know where not to go.
Yours in maps, fear, and fierce avoidance,
🚀 Lucifer Morningstar
💬 What’s one place you’d never visit even if someone paid you? Tell me below—bonus points for emotional drama and deep-rooted phobias.
Watch out for more posts on The Jugnu Express
Thank you for reading, if you liked this then check our earlier post on Positive Impact on Life by Family
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